“Does the tooth fairy collect dog teeth?” Brady asks me as I help direct our 5-month-old goldendoodle, Obie, up the hill towards the elementary school.
As we stroll together, we walk closer to the “in-person” classroom where Brady will spend the day learning virtually. The reality is that he is one of four children in a physical classroom environment, learning through the computer screen. You see, no one is truly back to public school in our county.
So, every morning, we have our routine which includes taking our sweet pup, Obie, along for the walk to school. (“It’s his job, Mom.”) Our fur baby is losing teeth and since we’ve never had a family dog, this has been a new experience for Brady and his siblings.
“Does the tooth fairy collect dog teeth?”
I smile and let out a laugh, although Brady’s questions are always serious.
“Brady, what would a dog do with tooth fairy money?” I ask playfully.
He’s quiet and when I look over, I can see him thinking. He has that look that appears when he’s processing. Give him time, don’t say anything further, and see where his brain takes the conversation. Sometimes he stays on topic, and sometimes he surprises me with something else that has captured his attention.
His eyes light up as he looks over at me. A big grin appears.
“Ha! Mom, the tooth fairy would need to give Obie a treat or a ball,” he responds.
“Yes, exactly! Money means nothing to Obie, but a dog treat would be perfect,” I say in agreement as I smile and feel gratitude. I can now, at his current age of 11, have reciprocal discussions with Brady more frequently than I ever thought possible just a couple of years ago.
It is quite common for those on the autism spectrum to have difficulty initiating or maintaining conversations. The art of conversation still does not come easily or consistently to Brady, but his skills are definitely improving. As he has demonstrated, he can stay on topic for a few “back and forth” turns, but he often misses the nonverbal cues such as facial expressions and body language. Picking up on facial expressions is certainly not helped by wearing a mask. Ironically, we are all appreciating this fact on a new level.
Early intervention approaches aimed at developing good social skills have led Brady to the point of being able to often maintain a dialog, even if just briefly. And, I enjoy every minute of it. It gives me a rare look into his unique brain and how he is interpreting both his environment, the information coming at him, and those around him.
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We are nearly at the school, so I dig into my pocket for the clean face mask I grabbed from the laundry earlier this morning. Although Brady struggles with wearing a mask, he must comply. I pack extras for his backpack, knowing that the compassionate school staff has him change them out when they get too dirty or moist.
Brady stops and leans down to nestle his face into the top of Obie’s warm body.
Brady makes his happy squealy sound while softly repeating “doggie, doggie…” while Obie stands still wagging his tail. Buying this dog was one of my best decisions of 2020. He’s incredibly sweet and soothes Brady in silent ways. A few face licks spur spontaneous giggles from a child who struggles with anxiety and consuming thoughts. Obie is Brady’s balm. A loyal friend every morning with a job to do.
“Children with autism may especially benefit from interacting with dogs, which can provide unconditional, nonjudgmental love and companionship.” – Research fellow Gretchen Carlisle of the Research Center for Human-Animal Interaction in the University of Missouri College of Veterinary Medicine
After a tender moment with Obie, we continue on.
Before we cross the road to arrive at his school, Brady suddenly shouts out: “DANCE FIGHT!”
(This is my cue.)
I must stop and go into “dance fight” mode and, of course, Brady starts his own dance moves immediately. (Have you ever seen the movie Despicable Me 3 with the dance fighter extraordinaire, Balthazar Bratt?)
As it turns out, dance fighting is quite fun! You can kick and spin and thrust your arms out randomly. Just don’t make contact with your opponent, unless he’s a real villain like Balthazar Bratt!
I’m not much of a dancer but in the arena of dance fighting, I can hold my own. I liken it to marshal arts meets tap dancing with a squirt of hip-hop mixed in. You must shed your ego completely and move rapidly.
We dance fight with goofy smiles on our faces (because you can’t help but fully enjoy the experience). My other children would never declare a dance fight out in the open with me, but Brady loves it. He lives in the moment without engaging in the need for stifling reflection on how he is presenting himself. As his mother, it’s a freeing experience for me as well.
Hence, we do our very best moves, in the cold air, right under the bright blue morning sky, without a care for who might catch a glimpse of our delight.
It’s so beautiful and touching how you turned a routine morning walk in to an enjoyable, thoughtful, inspiring, and even educational trip. Love your writing. Thanks for sharing it with me.
I couldn’t love this more. A boy, his dog, and dance moves by him and his amazing mom. <3
Love that you keep inhibitions at bay and dance with abandon. Next time I see Brady, tell him Aunt Lilly is ready with moves of her own!