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What is autism?

Explaining autism takes more than a sentence or two. It feels complicated. How does one explain it in a way that truly encapsulates the symptoms and varied external behaviors associated with this spectrum disorder?

Will the reader or listener be able to understand what it is like to have an autistic brain? 

Not really. 

But others need to be educated about how autism can affect social skills, sensory and emotional regulation- how it affects levels of anxiety and other neurological components. Simply put, there are a whole range of conditions and symptoms that belong to the autism spectrum disorder; it is an extremely complex disorder and yet, if we step back, we all have exhibit ‘spectrumy’ traits to varying degrees.

I recently read my book, “Can I Tell You About My Brother?” to a class of kindergarten students. My book walks the reader through some of the behavioral indicators that might suggest a person has autism. Told from the viewpoint of a neurotypical sibling, my book is narrated by Brady’s older sister. She speaks about how her brother’s behaviors reveal the ways that he copes and soothes himself as his brain takes in the stimuli around him.

Children in the class that morning asked some thoughtful questions but the one that really made me smile was asked by a boy with wide, brown eyes. Sitting crisscrossed on the floor in front of me, he asked:

“What does autism look like?”

“Great question,” I replied. “Autism can look like a lot of different things, because those with autism have challenges interacting with others. Everyone with autism is unique so you have to take time to understand how autism impacts their communication, and their ability to cope in certain environments. One person with autism might wear noise-deafening earphones because sounds are very loud to their brains, while another person with autism might be okay with sounds but have a hard time making eye contact with others.”

I have been reflecting on this simple yet complex question and felt compelled to write a poem.

What Does Autism Look Like? 

By Rebecca Vaughn

What does autism look like?

The boy with the wide, curious eyes asked.

It looks like humming, mooooooing-

Perhaps saying the same thing

Over and Over and Over again.

It can look very quiet, too.

Laser-focused Lego building for hours on end-

Stacking and organizing

Items in a room.

It can look like someone engrossed in a movie that

Has been watched and rewatched

Time and time again.

It can look obvious.

Like rocking, jumping, hand-flapping, or spinning around and around.

Or like repeating words to a song or lines from a movie —

Like STIMMING.

Which helps to calm the autistic mind.

It can be LOUD.

Groaning, grunting, screeching, or squealing…

MOMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!

On repeat, with frequency.

 STIMMING—

This helps to soothe the autistic brain.

It can look like a lot of worry.

A ball of anxiety spewing out

With tears, verbal loops, and loud vocal tones.

It can also look like questions that make others smile:

“Do anacondas like to give hugs?”

It can look like running at full speed,

Swinging as high as possible on a backyard playset,

Or rolling up in a blanket and asking for body pressure.

“Can you lay on top of me? Please.”

It can look like daredevil stunts—

Fearless thinking,

Risky behavior.

It can look like saying whatever comes to your mind—

The freedom of no filter-

Never mincing words.

It can look like pounding into the waves,

Laughing as the water puts pressure on the body.

Or climbing up trees without a plan

On how to get down.

Autism looks like silly sensory fun-

Making creations with unusual materials.

It can look very different.

From person to person.

As each individual finds ways of being comfortable

In an over-stimulating world.