The room is a chaotic mess but not really. An intricate design of train tracks, hot wheel cars, and stacks of books with plastic racing track hanging down all take up the floor space of our large den off the kitchen. There are magnetic tiles pieced together in small multi-colored pyramids along the floor…. with one army man trapped in each. They are prisoners but I’m not sure why. For now, they are not his focus. He speaks calmly, voicing a few of the race cars. I don’t dare look up from my desk in the kitchen, for that might disturb him. He is completely immersed in play at the age of 9. This is the kind of play I thought he would never be able to mimic, to learn, to understand in the abstract sense.
Brady is autistic and his early years consisted of running around the house, jumping off furniture, and trying to climb counters, bookshelves, windowsills, as well as the pantry shelves. He wouldn’t and couldn’t stop moving. It was stressful and the only way I could handle it was to take everyone out of the house as soon as breakfast was over. Parks, playgrounds, wooded areas with trails – we needed to GO and allow Brady the freedom to explore in safety. Most days, I wouldn’t come home until 3pm. I was always equipped with lots of snacks, drinks, diapers, wipes and all the necessities that mothers lug around with them in the toddler years. I called him my squirrel boy, because it felt like if we were at home for much longer than breakfast, I suddenly had a restless squirrel in my house running from room to room. He would grab anything in his reach and either toss it or put it into his mouth (storage for winter?). I never sat down when this kid was awake.
But outside…outside, he was transformed into a calm, focused little boy who seemed utterly fascinated by every tiny thing he could pick up. Mulch pieces, bugs, caterpillars, acorns, sticks. He explored the world around him with all his senses. I found myself pulling mulch and other unknown items from his cheeks, but not constantly. Often, he would just smell things and then use his hands to touch, press, and shape items. I would find him in a playground collecting pieces of nature in his bucket, and then going down the slide with his bucket in his arms. It was his stuff, his treasures and they were all stimulating to him – the textures, the smells, the colors and shapes, the sounds of jumping into mulch or the squashy sensation of landing in the sandbox without shoes and then scooping the sand to bury his bare feet.
It was deeply satisfying to Brady. As I observed him closely, I had to retrain my nervous brain by saying over and over to myself: “He’s washable, he’s washable. He’s being safe, not hurting or bothering anyone. And he’s washable. Let him be.” Brady wouldn’t engage in pretend play for many years to come (a fairly common delay seen in kids on the spectrum most often due to significant language delays). Nonetheless, he was a collector and a keen observer of objects (not people) from a very early age. His senses seemed cranked up a few extra notches compared to others his age.
Oh yes, I let him play in a very wet sandbox one day. He loved every minute.
Spontaneous pretend play enters our home
“I said you can go first if you want,” the green Torque Twister remarks.
“Okay, but this will be dangerous! I hope you can catch me!” replies the orange Dodge Durango.
“Seriously! Are you guys sure you’re going the right way?” asks the dark blue Pontiac Firebird.
“WHHHHEEEEEE! I’m going a little too fast, guys!!” yells out Dodge Durango.
“Are you not being safe? Let me help,” responds Pontiac Firebird calmly.
“Be safe. Be safe. You must be safe,” Brady whispers under his breath.
“AH HA!! I’m through the worst part! Come on guys! You can do it!” yells Torque Twister with enthusiasm.
(All the cars are going through a rough patch of the track that entails a bit of careful maneuvering.)
“OH NO! I’m HURT!” shouts Dodge Durango.
“I’m so sorry you got hurt. Do we need to take you to the repair shop?” asks another car.
“YES! PLEASE DO,” Dodge Durango answers.
At this point, I am smiling because these race cars are being incredibly polite and kind to one another despite the treachery of the course Brady has constructed. They are speaking words of support and encouragement. In this moment, I realize that Brady truly understands how to interact with peers, even if he still falters much of the time. By being placed in a mainstream classroom this year, he is absorbing the interactions among peers and applying them in play. This is a cognitive and social milestone for Brady that will undoubtedly lead to more flexible thinking as time marches on and play continues to progress.
“As I consider the mess of toys in my living room, I hope every parent has the opportunity to see their child take advantage of the therapeutic richness provided simply by playing.” – Dr. Raphael Bernier (“Through play children with autism can hone thinking skills”)
Can Brady engage in symbolic play with others though? This is especially challenging for Brady, because he doesn’t adapt to other’s ideas or viewpoints easily. I have seen him do it. The duration of the collaborative play varies, of course. A brother can suddenly walk away in a bit of frustration over the way the play isn’t flexing enough to his own expectations, but if time is spent explaining to Brady that Cedric now wants (this) to happen, so let’s pretend that happens and then you can come up with the next turn of events, we are teaching Brady very valuable skills. Through pretend play with others, Brady is challenged to flex his mind to the demands and ideas of others, and my ultimate hope is that this will translate into real life. I have to believe that encouraging interactive play for a child such as Brady will help him develop critical lifelong skills that will be imperative for maintaining friendships. He’ll also use the social, cognitive and communication skills he’s finessed through cooperative play to assist him in school, at home, and eventually at his job.
Do I mind the clutter in a couple of rooms on the main floor of my house? No, I choose not to notice. I’m too busy celebrating the fact that we are creating live movie scenes with characters whose voices project emotion and varying opinions. There is a story line and I cannot wait to see how it unfolds.
I say definitely don’t mind the mess because GO BRADY! That’s so awesome (I wonder what the soldiers did to be in pyramid prisons). I love how polite his race cars were to each other! Also, I miss that playground. The perfect amount of shade and fun.